Alright douche bags?!

Before I bang on about how good Hong Kong was and how different it is to China, I’m going to give you the low down on some observations we made during our stay. These are of course my opinions only, sorry if I offend anyone.

Good China : People are happy, not under the thumb and depressed as our media try to portray. They absolutely love their kids, of course a lot of families have more than one child  (against popular belief). Fathers make a fuss of their daughters too, we saw this everywhere. Kids love school and love learning English, some traveling a few hours a day to get there. They have a fantastic transport network, with trains and buses going everywhere all over the country for not a lot of money. A journey around town on their super clean metro is just 20p and buses are 10p! Food is cheap and so is accommodation. They have amazing countryside (once you escape the smog of the cities). After you work out the characters on a menu and actually receive something that you would like to eat, their cuisine is so good and yummy, but I have to say, it was always the 10p street food that blew mine and Andy’s minds. So so good! Everyone we met in China were really nice and would go out of their way to help you, a lovely nation of people 🙂

Bad China : Ok here I go, letting off some steam now, the hacking up of grollys and spitting almost anywhere (even in restaurants) I couldn’t bare! Out in the countryside, it seemed to happen less, so maybe I can forgive them for living in such badly polluted areas and feeling the need to clear their lungs. However, the kids pissing and shitting in the streets, I just can’t forgive. And every time I would spot this, it seemed to be right next to a bloody public toilet!! Insane! Just imagine it, if you wear flip-flops out in a city, of course you are going to get bad looks from everyone like I did – you will most probably at the end of the night, slip in somebody’s gozz or a child’s turd. Public toilets were everywhere as not everyone had their own toilets in their houses, but they didn’t ever provide a way to 1) wipe yourself 2) wash your hands after (…and these people were cooking my dumplings?!) 3) as I experienced once or twice, there wasn’t even any cubicles or a squat toilet, just an open trough. The constant beeping from the traffic nearly drove us insane, it never stopped either, as the Chinese never seemed to sleep!

Crazy China: Women wear high heels or kinky boots everywhere, even when hiking, like we did up mount Hua Shan. Clothes are really fashionable, some great stuff, but anything goes too. So I saw 60 yr old women wearing t-shirts, leather short trousers, ankle socks and porn-star high heels. Ha ha! Bra shops only seem to stock up to a C cup, I guess all the women are pretty small framed, so I don’t think the Essex 36GG exists there. Babies don’t wear nappies in China, their trousers/tights/pajamas are like chaps, exposing their baby bums and front bits. We couldn’t work out if this was to teach them how to squat at a young age or what, but surely ‘awkward moments’ would happen when holding their kids? UK parents moan about having vomit shoulder, well imagine that plus skid-mark arm too! Also, another funny thing we noticed was the crazy squeaky shoes they made their toddlers wear. Each one sounding like a dog toy with each step, the toddlers would run round the streets, bare arse out, squeaking as they went. So bizarre but actually really cute too! Crossing roads is a bit hairy, even if you had a green light, it meant nothing. Basically you could cross to the middle, but then all the oncoming traffic could still kill you. Until the south of China, we rarely saw any wildlife (in fact, we didn’t see any animals full stop. Where did all their meat come from?). Bathrooms are generally washrooms with a shower head placed above the toilet. Wash your hair whilst curling one out maybe, you could if you wanted too! Sewage systems can’t handle paper, so you have to try to remember to put everything into the bin provided (not good in 35 degree heat after eating a Chongqing hotpot I can tell thee!). Some people from small villages can’t even understand normal ‘Beijing’ Chinese. The place is soooooo big and the dialects are so strong, they are almost different languages. Lots have never seen the sea. Not many women smoke. You rarely see pregnant women, I think we saw 3 in a whole month of traveling China. And last but not least, there are around 8000 Chinese characters in their written language. You apparently only need to know 3000 to be able to read a newspaper. Most people in their lifetime won’t know them all.

Now you’ve got the heads up on China, why not go there yourself?

Tai Tai (Mrs) Limn xxx